Chapter two

~~~Chapter Two~~~

I thought I was dead at first. All I could hear was strange beeping and I could see this bright white light. Even with my eyes closed I could see the lights.

   I slowly opened my eyes a few hours later and was surprised to see that I was in a hospital room. I had an I.V in my right arm and my left was in a cast. Cloth was wrapped tightly around my chest and with each breath my ribs hurt. My legs hurt but luckily neither were broken. That would be bad… My head hurt and I had something over my nose, almost like a cast for it. Everything seemed to hurt, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t pick one place that hurt worse. I also wondered about my dog… where was Maxie?! Was he okay? Did he get killed or hurt? The thought make me swing my legs off the bed. I was ready to go home and check. But a male nurse who had been at the door ran up towards me. “Oh no! You’re staying in bed. Doctor said you had a concussion.” I was confused, very confused. And dizzy. The nurse helped me lay back on the bed and propped me up. The name on the tag that the man wore said Daniel. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and very white skin. And he didn’t look older than I was. “Did – is my dog here?”I asked as he covered my legs with a blanket and looked at me. “They said there was a dog when they picked you up. He was taken to the vet and someone named Mrs. Cooper claimed to know him and also you. She was here this morning and said she would come again in a couple days.” Daniel said with a strong southern accent. I felt better as soon as he said that Maxie was with Mrs. Cooper. She would take care of him and make sure no one else got hold of him.  “Oh thank goodness.”I allowed myself to relax and get checked by Daniel. He listened to my heart, my breathing and checked my neck. “What happened? I heard you were beat by a gang. You don’t have any tattoos.”He pulled up a chair and sat next to me. He really did seem interested as in why a gang would beat me up if I didn’t have tattoos. Almost everyone in the town I lived in had a tattoo showing which gang they were in or supported. At least all the men did. I didn’t want a tattoo. No matter what it was, gang related or not. “No, I do not have any tattoos. And I am not in a gang. Gangs don’t take people like me.”I told him. I looked across the room and away from him. Daniel looked at me with a confused look and raised an eyebrow. “People like you?”He leaned forward and put his hands together in front of him. “Yeah, I am mixed.” I told him as I looked down at the plain cream colored bed sheet. I knew I looked ashamed and sometimes I was. I wasn’t accepted by the gangs. And you were nothing if you didn’t belong in one. “You’re mixed?”Daniel asked, clearly confused about what I had said. “I am half black and half white. So they don’t like me. If I marry and have kids, they will be part black and white. And that’s not ‘right’.” I explained. I had looked up at him with a sigh and a nod. “Well that’s not right.”  Daniel told me. He stood and ran his fingers though his hair as he paced around the room. Besides Mrs. Cooper… he seemed to be the only person who truly seemed worried by the fact that I wasn’t really liked by the people in this city. “I know, but what could we do about it? I have lived here my whole life and was lucky to be able to buy an apartment and live here without trouble. I am lucky, they could have killed me by now.” I told him. I really didn’t know why I was sticking up for these people. They almost killed me but I didn’t want to admit it. To me they kept me safe and treated me well. Even though they were mean at times. I didn’t truly care about that. Daniel turned to face me with a look that asked if I was stupid. “What do you mean? You were attacked by a gang. And you call yourself lucky? In the two years I have worked here I have seen at least three people a week who have been attacked by gangs and it’s not pretty!” He exclaimed. He was clearly angry. He had nothing to worry about. He was just white, and a nurse. He was safe. Gangs needed doctors and people who knew about that stuff were welcomed with open arms!

I sighed as I looked at the window that looked out to a beautiful small garden. It had a white birdbath with different colored flowers around it. It was the beginning of spring and everything looked beautiful. But it didn’t matter at that moment for me. I was very confused about everything. “You don’t understand! My father was killed by the same gang who attacked me. I disobeyed the rules they set for me. And they could have killed me or kicked me out of their territory. I am alive, therefore I am lucky.” I had become depressed thinking about all that. My father was killed and I wasn’t. And I wasn’t right for anybody in that city. Why hadn’t I gotten away sooner? But I did not want to admit that I was wrong. A smart person would have left as soon as they came of age and could move out. But I didn’t. I had to stay! Why? Why did I? Why I did I have to torture myself like this? “If they killed your father, why are you staying? Why haven’t you left? Aren’t you scared to die?” Daniel asked. I looked up at him and shrugged. “I don’t know, this place is history, my history, my family’s history. I cannot seem to leave. I was going to. I was going to leave within 24 hours of the time I was attacked. It was for a couple weeks. But I was going to leave.” I told him. My eyes now looked at my hands and I chewed on my lip. “Do you think that was why you were attacked?” Daniel asked as he started to walk closer to my bed. I shrugged. “I think that might be the reason.” I admitted. I looked at him and shrugged. “Plus, I am mixed. They don’t like that.” Daniel moved the chair over closer to my bed and he sat with his right leg crossed over his left and hands folded in his lap. “Why is that?” I had to take a moment to think about how to explain it without blowing up! I was growing sick and tired of all these questions. It was my life and he no right poking his nose in my business! “Because blacks and whites can speak, be friends but cannot have children!” I exclaimed, once again I slid my legs off the bed to try and get up. But Daniel jumped up, ran over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. That guy was strong! “Oh, no you’re not!” He yelled as he tried to push me back into the bed. But I fought back, I wanted out and to go home! There was no use sticking around here if I felt fine.”Yes I am! I cannot let them win!” I told him. I used all my weight to try and push him off. But the moment my right leg touched the ground and weight was put on it, I groaned and sat on the bed. I hurt everywhere once again. Daniel helped me once again to get back in bed and by then I felt like I would pass out. “I will leave and you can sleep. But get out of bed again and you will be tied down. You need to rest.” Daniel sounded stern and I knew he was not kidding. But I just nodded and laid my head on the pillow. And as soon as I heard the door shut before Daniel, I was out of it and asleep.

In my dream I was in a tunnel. (Ever wonder where the title of this book comes from?) But there was no light at either end. “Hello?” I called as I walked around and felt along the wall. I could not see a thing as I did. And I was admittedly terrified and I didn’t want to go anywhere. But I felt a pull. ‘It’s time to move on.’ A males voice said from somewhere in the tunnel. “Hello!?” I called out. I was breathing hard and quickly turned. And when I did I heard a louder and surprisingly real female voice ask. “James! It’s okay. Wake up.” And that’s what I did… I woke up.

 I could tell it was a new day and I had been asleep longer than I thought I would have. The blankets had been changed from cream colored to a light sky blue color. And a woman nurse was in my room and checking the I.V bag. “Who are you? Where’s Daniel?” I asked. I felt better than I had before and I wanted a familiar face. And apologize to him how I acted before. It wasn’t like me. And I felt bad. The woman turned and I saw that she was older. She looked around forty or so with short reddish/brown hair and kind blue eyes. She had the motherly look to her face. But she also looked stern. “His shift starts at eight, I am the night nurse.” She explained. Then she turned to walk to the window and I noticed how short she seemed to be. I nodded and turned my head towards the door as it opened and a young, cute nurse walked in. She had curly red hair and green eyes. And she pushed the food cart. I could smell the food across the room. Eggs, bacon and hash browns. She wheeled the cart over to the bed and picked up this tray that was between my bed and the bedside table. She unfolded the legs and sat it over my legs. "You hungry?" The nurse asked with a smile. "Yeah," I said as I looked down at my hands. I wasn't good around women my age. I never had been and maybe never will. The nurse smiled and as soon as the tray was stable she put the plate with eggs, bacon and hash browns on it. She also sat down a glass of milk and one of water on it and gave me a small smile and nod. “I hope you feel better. And I will see you at noon.” With another smile she turned and walked off. And I started to eat like I haven’t eaten anything in weeks. It honestly felt like I haven’t.

  After the meal the ‘night nurse’ (Never did learn her name) took my plate and explained to me what would happen that day. I was to shower and the cloth around my waist would be changed and my ribs would be checked by a doctor. Then he would check my legs and I might go for some physical therapy. Fun…. She handed me a t.v remote and then said goodbye and that she would be back after supper that night. I just nodded and turned on the t.v and flipped though the channels. Honestly… not much was really on. So I settled for an old Rerun of I Love Lucy.

Daniel walked in just as the show ended. I started to laugh. He wore blue scrubs with brown cowboy boots. He looked shocked and then looked down at the ground and at his feet. “What?”He asked, clearly baffled at why I could be laughing. “Don’t nurses wear those comfy white nurse shoes?” I asked as Daniel shut the door and shook his head. “Most do, but I wear these sometimes. My feet end up killing me. But I can always change.” He walked over to me and started to study the I.V bag. “Plus, I think these look better.” He had a mischievous look on his face and then slightly chuckled. “Okay, you need to shower today. And then the Doctor will check out your ribs and head. You will go in for a CAT scan a bit later in the afternoon.” He explained. He reached for my right arm and then turned off the dripping from the I.V. “I will be taking the I.V out. The Doctor said that you don’t need it anymore!” He said it as if it was a reason to celebrate. But I have fear of needles… so I closed my eyes as he carefully pulled the needle out of my arm. But I was glad for it to be out. I could get out of bed now and out of that room if I wanted too. But I knew I needed a shower. I smelled of hospital and blood. I didn’t know how Daniel could stand to be a foot away from me.

   After he took everything that was hooked up to me off, He allowed me to get out of bed. Pain shot though my body as I stood. But after a second or two I felt better. “I will walk you to the bathroom and then leave. But the door will be cracked and I will be standing outside.” Daniel told me as we walked towards the bathroom. Once in he handed me a blue towel and washcloth and some soap. The kind in the little bags like you’d get from a hotel. “If you need me, call. It’s no big deal. I am the second oldest of six kids. And my brother broke both his arms two years ago. I had to help him do everything. And I mean everything.” Daniel said. I just nodded and turned to watch him walk out of the bathroom. He cracked the door and I could hear him whistling out in my room. I very carefully pulled off my hospital grown and that’s when I got the first real look of my beat up body. Even though most of my chest was covered with the cloth, I had bruises all over my chest and belly. My arms had bruises on them and so did my legs. I turned and my back did also. In some places I had dried blood from small cuts. My face had cuts on it and hair looked horrible.  I felt horrible. I was depressed again and stood in front of the mirror just looking at myself.

  A knock at the door sounded and I turned. “Are you okay?” I heard Daniel ask. “Yeah, I am getting in the shower now.” I placed the towel and washcloth near the shower. The shower had a door in it and little chair in there to sit on. I stood right under the shower head and gasped as I turned on the water and the cold water hit my head. Cold showers helped me to think. It shocked my body and I could get lost in the sound of the water and my thoughts. But as the water hit all the bruises pain shot though my body. But I very slowly washed my hair and tried to wash my body. But I was tiring out. You never know how much energy a shower takes until your body needs rest.

I stepped out of the shower and took a deep breath. My body was ready to just fall and sleep. Somehow I managed to get my boxer shorts on. It was painful and doing it one handed wasn’t an easy thing. But I sat on the toilet to rest. I wasn’t ready to give up and call Daniel to help me.  I wasn’t the type of person who asked and accepted help. But I needed it. I stood again and groaned as pain shot up from my ribs and sat right back down. “You okay?” I heard Daniel asked from outside the door. “Yeah,” I lied. I stood and couldn’t help but sound like an old man as I did. Daniel walked in and stopped right under the door frame with his arms crossed. I tried to bend down and pick up the hospital gown off the floor but I couldn’t bend that far. Actually… I could hardly bend at all. I tried to use my foot to kick it up into the air. But my leg was stiff from lying in the bed for so long, that it didn’t want to do anything other than walk. I sighed and gave up. “Help?”I asked Daniel. He smiled, nodded and walked in. “You can get a new gown if you want.”He unlocked a door I didn’t even know was there and inside was a row of three cabinets. The top held the soap and bottles of stuff. The second had more hospital gowns and the third held towels and washcloths. “You can pick.” He stood back with a winning smile on his face. He knew he won. I gave up and now he would help. I walked over and picked the first one I saw. But I put it back. It was pink with white cats on it. That is not something I would dare to be seen in. I picked a plain green one and Daniel helped me put it on. “The Doctor will be in to see you soon. This robe will need to be taken off when he checks your ribs.” He explained as he gently tied the robe on to keep it at least somewhat closed. I brushed my hair and then my teeth. Then I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself. I felt a little bit better, especially since I was clean. But I still looked horrible. “I am ready to get back into bed.”I told him, my body was ready to give out. I sat on the bed and Daniel helped me lay back and he pulled the sheets over my legs. “Rest, the Doctor will be here soon.”Daniel handed me a couple books and walked out. I had to smile. He and I could become good friends.

  An hour the door opened. I placed a piece of paper in my book as a bookmark and then laid it next to me. “Hello, James. I am Doctor Munson.”  The Doctor looked like he must be old. He seemed to be  around 50 or so. But he looked nice with his brown hair that was turning white, his dark blue eyes had a kind expression in them.  On his white doctor’s coat were the numbers and letter.  E 3:1-2. I wondered what that meant.

  I watched him for a moment until I decided that he could be trusted. “Hey,” I said simply as I looked at the ground. Good going… I told myself. You’re being very friendly.  I looked back at him and he and Daniel were talking over a clip board. I guessed it was my chart. They did a lot of nodding and hand movements. Then Doctor Munson walked over to me with the clipboard in his hands. Daniel followed but stayed a couple feet away. “How are you feeling?”Dr. Munson asked as he handed the clipboard to Daniel and pulled his stethoscope from around his neck. I honestly had to think about that question. “Well… my chest feels like needles are poking me whenever I breathe. And I don’t mean a tiny little poke. More like huge needles… almost like a stake that you’d use to kill vampires with.” I knew that didn’t make much sense but that was how I could explain it. Dr. Munson nodded and turned to Daniel who started to write something down. “How does your head feel?” He asked, he put the ear pieces of the stethoscope in his ear and watched me. “I still get waves of dizziness. But it’s not that bad. And if I stand for awhile my head hurts. But again it’s not that bad.” I explained. He once again nodded and then used his finger to motion me to sit up. He was clearly not a man of many words. I sat up and he placed the cold piece of the stethoscope to my chest and told me to breathe normally. Then he moved it to my back. “Very good.” He placed the stethoscope back around his neck and then grabbed my wrist to check my pulse and started to talk in doctor code, all these numbers and stuff. “Good, now take the robe off.” He told me. I stared at him for a moment but slowly did as he said. Daniel helped me because I was sitting down and soon I sat on my bed with just my boxers on. I was very glad to have a male doctor. Dr. Munson and Daniel spoke in whispers again and then turned to me. “We will have to unwrap you.”Daniel told me with a hint of a smirk on his lips. “It might be painful, we can put the I.V back in and give you some pain killers if you’d like.” He told me. But I immediately shook my head. “I will be fine.” I told them. They both nodded and Daniel started to take the safety pins out of one side and then unwrapped the cloth. It did hurt, the cloth kept everything tight and as it got looser I felt things poking inside me and moving. Dr. Munson looked worried as he watched the pain come across my face. He started to whisper to himself and then he walked into the bathroom. He came out with a huge bowl and a sponge. He handed that to Daniel who started to gently clean around the bruises and cuts. “You broke a few ribs.” Dr. Munson told me. “It will take a few weeks to a couple months for them to heal.”He explained. Then after Daniel was done with me Dr. Munson came over and started to look at my chest. He would gently touch a place that hurt and when I gasped he backed up.

 After a couple minutes he turned to Daniel and nodded. Daniel walked out and it was just the Doctor and I. “You will have an X-ray of your chest and a CAT scan. After that you will come in here and rest. Then tomorrow a lady named Mrs. Cooper and I need to speak to you about something. But today will be a day of rest.”He explained. He was the type of man you just KNOW you had to listen too. But worry was in his eyes, it was for me. Daniel came back in with a wheelchair and he and Dr. Munson helped me in it. It felt weird and a bit painful to sit straight up. But off we were to the X-ray room.